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twinkiespice
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Name: Rance
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 5/27/1982
Gender: Male
Interests: what is there to life besides food, basketball, and movies?
Occupation: Accounting/Finance
Industry: Banking/Finance
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/18/2003
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| need to go back to the beta version...
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| Random Thoughts....
They say a glass of wine a day is good for your health... I wonder what they would say about a bottle a day?
Who the hell are these guys that comment on random girls' myspace
pages? Do they expect "Yo yo girl you so fine! Holla at ya boy!" to
really work?
Nobody writes xangas anymore. I only see entries by like the same five
people whenever I check, is it not cool to be a xangawhore anymore?
Meeting girls is not easy. Getting a job is not easy. Meeting girls
while working said job is doubly not easy. How are we expected to do
it? (Without resorting to internet dating services).
I manage several people older than me. I wonder if they actually respect me, or if they talk crazy shit about me behind my back.
I'm almost 24. How depressing.
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| Police
are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs, to be
alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many
females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer" to target
unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now
available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, in cans, from taps, and
in large "kegs."
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade
their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a
woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of Beer and
then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered
helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often
succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific-looking women to
whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer, men
often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them
the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad"
occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life
savings, in a familiar scam known as "A Relationship" It has been
reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to
entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and
punishment referred to as a "Marriage" Apparently, men are much more
susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered
by the predatory females.
Please forward this warning to every male you know. (And women with a
sense of humor!) If you fall victim to this insidious Beer and the
predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with
venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking
encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected,
like-minded guys.
For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages | | |
| For some reason people think I know a lot about relationships. For
example, just the other day, a female friend posed a few interesting
questions to me. Here is my reply:
Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend.
A:
Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is
only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best
friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together.
Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are
still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends
without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him
and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A:
Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best
thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him
a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A:
This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The Man
is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night
out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster
a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a
great time to clean the house, too)! Just look at how emotional and
happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do
when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex
on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A:
Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may
wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your
husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral
sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A:
You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests
for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much
as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood.
Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing
oral sex and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
ok so maybe i didn't actually write this one. my actual motto is "Bitch, make me a sandwich!"
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| When I was a little kid, I played a lot of video games (actually, I still do). Aside from being highly entertaining, they possess one special characteristic: the restart button. If I crash my car in the game and it is about to blow up, I can quickly pause the game, find the restart button, and try it again until I get it right.
Last week at work, as I was posting a payment on a customer's account, I realized I was on the wrong account page. Thats ok; with the press of a button the payment was retracted and I was able to fix my mistake.
This morning, I was thinking about my life. I thought about the people I have met, the things I have done, and the things I wish I had done differently... which led me to thinking about some of the things I have come to regret.
And then I looked around... but I couldn't find the damn button. | | |
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